Steph Not Stephanie

Someone asked me the other day if I am good at firing people from my life. I am not. In fact, one of my ‘talents’ is my ability to stay in touch with people where others might eventually drift away. However, lately I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed when it comes to keeping up with everyone. Actually, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by life in general, but let’s just tackle one thing at a time so I don’t end up going back to bed and screaming Adele at my cats.

I’ve been trying. A coffee here, a lunch there, drinks on the stoop every night. But there are only so many days in the week, and it can be a bit tiring. Don’t get me wrong, I love being social. I just find lately I am having trouble making time for the people I actually want to see when I feel obligated to keep up with everyone. I end up double booking and having to cancel, or feeling like I don’t have a minute to myself. Part of this is my ridiculous need to please everyone, so I hardly ever say no to anything. The other part is the fact that I meet a lot of people – and not just through dating. I guess I’m a relatively likable gal, and having too many people who want to spend time with me hardly seems like something worth worrying about, but here I am. I feel excruciatingly guilty when I can’t make time for everyone. Maybe I should be better at firing people. Or maybe I need better time management (fun fact, I multi-tasked by writing this on the subway).

I’ve always joked that I don’t need more friends; I have friends. But that’s kind of untrue (and way harsh, Tai). I do like new friends, and I am absolutely open to having more awesome people in my life rather than less, but there are logistics to consider. Am I obligated to ration my ‘new person’ time, do old friends get first dibs? What if there are people that I actually do want to fire … do I have to have The Talk with them, or can I just do the slow fade? Maybe I’ll just invite everyone to my Google calendar so they can book me for the time they want, and I can have blocks of Netflix binge no-access time. It’s healthier than the Adele-screaming, and the cats seem to enjoy it more.