Recipes · stephnotchef

This Week in Green Shit: Vegan magic

This week was not without its clusterfucks challenges, but luckily I eat my feelings because it means I have some great recipes for This Week in Green Shit.

We spent Christmas with Bogart’s family, and it was lovely (I made a loaf version of Oh She Glows lentil walnut balls without cranberries and a mushroom gravy). For some weird reason, I woke up on Boxing Day with what felt like a huge hangover. My headache actually woke me up — and I haven’t had a drink since October (thanks vertigo). Praise Jebus I didn’t have to spend the day dealing with people in the fourth circle of hell (also known as the Eaton Centre). Instead, I doused myself in peppermint essential oil and didn’t leave my apartment. Feeling like hot garbage calls for comfort food, so it gave me an opportunity to bust out a new recipe via Joyous Health:


Comfort food that still counts as healthy? Sign me up! This little bit of yum is a grilled peanut butter banana sammy, with maple syrup, cinnamon, chia seeds, and hemp hearts. I used almond butter on Bogart’s, but since I use all-natural hippie nut butters, it ripped the bread —it still tasted great, it just wasn’t gram-worthy. (The mug was a gift from the lovely and talented Lauren at An Organized Life.)


A day later and I was back to my version of normal. I’ve decided to rotate more ‘hit’ meals instead of trying to make four new dishes a week since that’s just bonkers, and this loaded sweet potato was one of Bogart’s top five faves a few months ago:


The two standouts here are the cashew sour cream and nacho cheese — both vegan and both wowed the omnivore chef I live with. I made the cheese sauce before while B was cooking for other people, and I couldn’t stop raving about it to the cats. They weren’t as impressed as he was. The trick is to soak the nuts (yeah, yeah, laugh it up) in boiling water for at least an hour beforehand.

Cashew Sour Cream

1 cup soaked cashews

Juice of half a lemon

2/3 cup water

1 tbsp apple cider vinegar (the good shit that gets cloudy)

Sea salt to taste

Put all that shit in a blender. No really, that’s it. Use more or less liquid as needed, and use a spatula to push everything down to get it as smooth as possible. Blend it until you think it’s done, and then blend it some more. I like to put it in the freezer to chill before I serve it. Noms.

Nacho Cheese

This is seriously a show stopper. Like it’s lie-to-your-friends-and-pretend-it’s-cheese good. Better-than-movie-theatre-nacho-cheese good (and I love that toxic goop). Goddamned vegan magic.

1/4 cup cashews (I just soaked a bunch from Bulk Barn and divvied them up between the two recipes)

1/2 carrot

1 or 2 potatoes

3 tbsp nutritional yeast (nooch is life to a vegan cook)

Juice from the other half of that lemon

1 clove garlic, minced

2 tbsp grape seed or olive oil

Splash white wine vinegar

2 tbsp water, or more as needed

Peel and dice the potato and carrot, then bring to a boil. Then throw all that shit in a blender. You don’t even need to really wash the blender from the sour cream, just a good rinse will do. This is lazy girl vegan magic right here.Taste and adjust as necessary. It tastes fine when it cools off, but I think it’s best served hot.


Yesterday morning we awoke to discover 30 gallons of water from our 55 gallon fish tank on the floor of our apartment. So after some learning moments about how we both deal with emergencies (I’m calm when it’s happening and get stressed after, Bogart is the opposite), a few hours with a wet vac, and way too many adult conversations about things like insurance coverage and deductibles, I was in need of something easy and cheesy:


Looks like some gooey, cheesy, deliciousness, right? Surprise! More lazy girl vegan magic made of lies, love, and nutritional yeast! I adjusted this recipe from Minimalist Baker.

Butternut Squash Mac ‘n Cheese

2 cups frozen butternut squash (you can use fresh, but this is faster and was already in my freezer)

3/4 cup unsweetened almond milk

2 cloves minced garlic

Juice of 1/4 lemon

1 tsp salt

1/4 cup veggie broth

4 tbsp nutritional yeast

1 cup macaroni noodles

Bring the butternut squash to a boil (3-4 minutes) while you sauté the garlic until fragrant. Throw everything into a blender (I love my blender) and cook the macaroni. Drain, and add 1/2-3/4 cup of the sauce so the noodles are coated. Cook on low heat until sauce thickens. I topped mine with a pecan parmesan (made with nutritional yeast of course), but you could do panko crumbs, hot sauce, or ketchup. Next time I’ll probably add peas because I’m crazy like that. It was perfectly easy and cheesy, just like me.