Polyamory keeps popping up in my life. I’ve always said that while I understand it in theory, I also don’t necessarily think it’s the right fit for me long term. Non-exclusively dating until it seems like the right time to have the conversation? Absolutely. I just don’t know that my heart would be able to handle my significant other in a serious relationship having other serious relationships. Monogamish is much more my speed. Working where I do, I would be lying if I said I think monogamy is the answer for everyone, all of the time.
I saw Ben last night, who was surprisingly cool during what could have been a very awkward moment. Drunk Steph was showing him pictures on my phone, when he happened to recognize his own face. Oh right, I took a screenshot to send to a friend (who voiced his approval with ‘awww, he’s cute’). Don’t drink and share photos, kids. Luckily he did not think I was a crazy stalker — or he’s into that sort of thing. He also owns and uses a shoehorn, so the verdict is still out on his mental fitness.
Nutmeg figured out I was on a date (not difficult, since Drunk Steph also tweeted about my awesome game), and I woke up to a message saying he hoped it had ended well (in much more specific terms). This was interesting for a few reasons. In a ‘normal’ scenario, people try to hide the fact that they’re dating a bunch of people, or at least talk around it. This would be damned near impossible for me due to this little bloggity, but even if I didn’t have a penchant for spilling the beans about every aspect of my dating life, he and I already had this convo. We arrived upon a quasi-DADT, but I think it’s evolved into a more sharing is caring thing. Honestly — and this surprised me — I think I prefer it. These are cool people whose company I enjoy, and if they’re going out with other cool people, I’d rather be happy for them than crying to Adele in the shower.
That I keep ending up in dating and dating-adjacent scenarios with poly and poly-leaning people (this applies to Ben, Nutmeg, and a plethora of people I’ve gone out with in the past little while) says something. What that something is, I’m not quite sure. It seems to be having a moment in the Toronto dating scene, I tend to attract people who march to the beat of their own drum, and I’m not exactly traditional myself. I don’t imagine I’ll end up in a long-term poly relationship, but non-monogamy/dating half the city is working quite well for me at the moment.