Steph Not Stephanie

When I first started working at Ashley Madison, one of my friends asked if it was going to ruin my opinion of men. At the time I said, ‘No, of course not,’ but I should have added: many of them do a perfectly good job of that without my help.

I met a guy in the fall while out with a friend. He was a friend of a guy she was sort of involved with, and the four of us went out drinking. One thing led to another, and he and I had a ‘fling.’ He found me on Facebook rather quickly (apparently I need to up my search settings), and wanted to get together again. Despite his persistence, due to both of our hectic schedules, my terrible birthday weekend, and him getting sick, we didn’t end up getting together again before I started dating Edwin. He sent the occasional hello/how are you message, but we didn’t talk much more than that.

I was watching the gold medal game in Streetsville over breakfast with friends, and he messaged me again. We shot the shit about the game, and then he told me he had read my blog. I can only assume he was referring to the post where I discussed re-entering the dating pool, but hockey distracted me and the conversation died. He contacted me again, re-iterated that he had read my blog, and asked if I was seeing anyone (he even called it a ‘bold question’). I said I wasn’t, and he expressed interest in seeing me ‘casually.’ I told him that while I was looking to get back into dating, the casual scene did not appeal to me. He wished me well, asked me to let him know if I changed my mind, and we’ve had a few brief, ‘Hey how are ya?’ conversations since.

I didn’t think much of it, until a picture popped up in my News Feed on Friday: Best five years of my life, couldn’t spend it with anyone better (I’m paraphrasing, but you get the gist). It was a picture of him and his fiancé, celebrating their five-year anniversary. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Needless to say, I was a bit. fucking. pissed. I know I am not an angel; I used to work at Infidelity R Us, but I did not consent to this horseshit. At no point — ever — did he mention he was even in a relationship, much less engaged. Not only did he cheat on her with me, he continued to pursue something for months without even so much as a heads-up. Thank the flying spaghetti monster some forces in the universe conspired to ensure it never went beyond that brief fling in the fall. We all know I’m not the silent type, so I messaged him:

‘More to it than you know.’ Right.

If you’re still reading, asshole, feel free to explain yourself in the comments. I’ll be holding my breath til then.