Friends · Kids · Life

The thing about kids

I love kids. I love my friends’ kids, my cousins’ kids, random babies I see on the subway, I love kids. I spent time with some amazing kids this week, and even managed to survive a trip to the grocery store with a six month old and three year old intact (I also got to dig for dinosaurs, alternate between being Batman and Spiderman, and generally act a fool at the park as a sea monster). However, despite my affinity for these tiny humans, I have no desire to create any of my own. This seems to be an issue for a lot of people.

Acquaintances and new people – like dating prospects – are the biggest offenders. Their first question is usually “Why?” while they look at me like I just said I like to murder puppies. I don’t know who told them this was appropriate, but I might start responding by asking them why they had kids (with the same look of abject horror they give me). After I’ve explained the really deep reason I don’t plan to procreate (because I just don’t want to), I usually get, “Never say never,” or “You just havent met the right person.” I find this irritatingly condescending. Oh thank you for your input, person I barely know. You’re so right, you know me better than I do!

People who know me well aren’t completely off the hook on this one either. I get it, I confuse them when I am around children, but I promise my ovaries aren’t interested even though I am having a blast playing Thomas the Tank or remixing pop songs for an infant.

As much fun as kids are, they’re not for me. And while I fully expect many of you to screenshot this in case I change my mind, for now I am content to just be a really kickass sparent.

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9 thoughts on “The thing about kids

  1. Unfortunately you get the backblow from the many many people who say they never want kids and then five years later, they start popping them out.

  2. Aren’t people wonderful! Lol….

    Not everyone in this world is meant to procreate totally understand what you’re saying. I really think not everyone who doesn’t have kids hates them all as you say it’s just not for you. But the fact that you don’t have the responsibility of making sure those little beings are well cared for and become competent members of society in 18 years or so means that you can laugh and play like a kid in a way that us parents have forgotten being so wrapped up in the future. My kid def thinks you’re the cats meow!

  3. It’s interesting, because if you were a dude saying you didn’t want kids, I feel people wouldn’t react the same way. People can’t wrap their heads around a female not wanting to fulfill her motherly instinct. You’re totally right, you can do this in other ways without having kids of your own. You can totally be cool Aunt Steph.

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