Dating · Life

Let’s make a deal

I went out with a guy on Sunday who has first dates down to a science. Apparently he goes on a lot of them, and he also blogs (well, tumblr) about dating in Toronto. I wasn’t willing to play show me yours and I’ll show you mine yet, but I don’t think I am going to end up featured as a post there (he only talks about bad dates).

He posited an interesting question: what is your dealbreaker? Not what I consider to be dealbreakers in others, but what about me usually sends men running for the hills. It’s kind of like the talking about your biggest weakness in a job interview (too nice, clearly), and it actually caught me off guard. I’ve since managed to come up with a few:

  • I don’t want marriage or kids. That’s a big deal for a lot of people, and I totally get it. I’m not trying to take away anyone’s chance to be a father, so I usually try to get that one out of the way right quick.
  • I don’t eat things with faces. I don’t think this is an issue (and I don’t give a shit if you want to eat Turkducken), but some people do. I probably won’t love it if you insist on hunting every weekend, but as long as you’re not force-feeding me meat in my sleep, we’re all cool.
  • This blog. My writing became a point of contention (again) yesterday during a conversation with Ahab where (funnily enough) my old habit of warning guys that I’m crazy came back to bite me in the ass. Fun fact: I don’t think I am crazy, and a low blow just makes you look like an asshole proves I made the right decision. Whoops, that got a bit direct. Moving right along.
  • I’m messy as fuck. I’m not talking a dish here or some unwashed laundry there. I haven’t seen the floor of my room in months. Deal with it.

So those are my major issues (don’t worry, I’ll leave all the comments from exes with axes to grind). In terms of what I’m not okay with, I don’t think I could date a smoker, I know I couldn’t date someone who doesn’t drink, and I don’t play well with anyone über-conservative. Other than that, a lot of things I’ve seen as dealbreakers in the past have been not such a big deal when I really liked the person.

I’m meeting a Tindude™ this eve, and if I find the conversation lagging, I might just use this question.

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