Well, we’re knee deep in it now. Dating is such a fickle beast; it can make you feel like king of the gd world one minute and king shit of turd mountain the next. I will have nights where no one messages me and I think either a) my profile is a terrible representation of who I am or b) I am awful and nobody likes me. Then I will have nights where 50 people clamour for my attention, albeit some with messages like this:
REDACTED BECAUSE STEPH IS A NICE PERSON said:
Nov 26, 11:10 PM EST
i m boob guy,,i have say nice decolte
Nov 26, 11:11 PM EST
I’m a grammar girl, you dropped a few prepositions in there.
Thankfully, I am not in this alone. I have you, Dear Reader, waiting with baited breath for my next tale of dating woe, and I have my fellow daters — brothers and sisters in arms. I have to admit, it is a bit reassuring to know I’m not the only one who finds dating can be a bit
batshit crazy challenging.
One such friend is especially good at talking me down when I’m on what we termed “the ledge.” We are both relatively rational, smart, reasonable women … just not when it comes to our own dating crises. Whenever one of us feels ledgey, the other swoops in with a dose of sanity and sage advice, until the next panic attack. She has said many important things, but two of them really stand out for me. Somewhere in between ‘a bit odd‘ and ‘this is just getting ridiculous,’ she told me she admired the way I put myself out there. I in turn applaud her ability to give people the benefit of the doubt no matter what. I would love to be that trusting, but this shit keeps happening, so for now, my guard is slightly up.
Last week, I was feeling particularly ledgey (along the lines of “why doesn’t he text me/like me?”), and she really helped put the situation into perspective. This is someone who spent a grand total of four hours with me. He should not dictate how I feel about myself (either good or bad). These people we message/meet/maybe even make out with don’t really know us, so why do we give them so much power? I can still be awesomesauce without having a love connection with every guy I meet. I know lots of people I have no intention of dating … that doesn’t make them less kickass in any way.
So I am going to continue to put myself out there, and the next time I will be a little less ledgey, until eventually I won’t need to be talked down at all. The important thing, with a little help from my friends, is to just
3 responses to “Woman on a ledge”
[…] a thing for me. My friends are on board and have only had to talk me down from the occasional ledge. All ledge-related activity has solely come about when I’ve put myself in an even slightly […]
[…] it’s lovely, but there’s also not a lot of initiative on his part. At first I did the ‘why don’t you like me’ spiral in my head, but I’ve been able to step back and really look at the situation. […]
[…] a plethora of nutbar behaviour: neuroses, irrational behaviour, general freak-outs, and what I call ‘the ledge.’ The trouble with going beyond a first date with someone is it opens you up to expose all of your […]