Dating

You’ve got mail

A sense of humour is important for most things in life. I would say that goes double for maintaining sanity in the Toronto dating scene. Now, with that being said, not everyone agrees on what’s funny. That itself can be a pretty good way to weed out potential dates. If you don’t think I’m funny, we’re not going to get along because I am funny as fuck. People are always laughing with at me.

One of the motley crew of dating sites has a ‘You should message me if’ section. I made my profile years ago and I only update it seasonally from ‘I like flip flops and patios and booze’ to ‘I like pompom hats and mittens and booze,’ because I’m lazy. I have never updated my reason to message me from this quasi-outdated political reference: You didn’t vote for Rob Ford. Or you did, and you would like to apologize.

See, I’m funny, right? I’ll take your silence as a yes. Well, some people do not agree. I received this message last night: I certainly didn’t vote for Ford, but I would never ask anyone to apologize for who they voted for. Good for them for voting, that’s why we do it. Best of luck to you and your continuing judgement of people. Oh-kay now. First of all, let me adjust my eyeballs, because they got stuck in the massive eyeroll I just did. I checked out this cheerful chap’s profile, and found this gem:

I’m really good at
Making people laugh. I am really, really good at that.
Really.
Hahaha. Well, mission accomplished, just perhaps not in the way you think. Seriously, if you can’t take a joke (especially about our punchline of a mayor) and it upsets you so much that you feel compelled to tell me off, methinks online dating might not be the place for you. Or interacting with human beings in general for that matter.
Fun fact: this guy has messaged me before, and I vaguely recall something being off, but I must’ve deleted the messages. I’ve been getting a lot of repeats lately, probably because this is my profile picture now, and this is an old one. However, it went to a whole new level when a dude messaged me to say I looked ‘vaguely familiar,’ and ask if we had talked before. Yeah, we not only talked, we went on a date. I am glad it was so memorable? In his defence, it was a couple of pints, no connection, and a declined offer to get together again. Another (gross) rerun: a dude who starts a convo and immediately says, ‘Nice pics. What do you think of mine?’ You can’t tell from the thumbnail, but he’s attempting to show off his boner in all his pics. If you happen to miss it (as I did the first time we spoke), he prods you with ‘Notice anything in the bottom right corner?’ type questions. He’s pulled this move on friends as well. Dude. If you have to be that specific, then maybe it’s not worth calling attention to. I can tell you this much: as a repeat offender, it was definitely not worth a second look.
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