Steph Not Stephanie

I have a lot of extremely awesome and talented friends. Some of them have been at this blogging game far longer than me, while others entered it recently, but they all inspire me each time I read one of their posts. I’ve managed to recruit some of them to write guest posts for me so that you, hypothetical reader, can love them as much as I do. Today’s entry is by the lovely Holly from All the Feels You Can(‘t) Handle. I can’t thank her enough for agreeing to my crazy idea and putting up with me in general. Without further adieu, here’s HollyNotStephanie.

Well as manners dictate it is polite to thank one’s host so – thank you Ms. Steph for allowing my jumble of words to appear on your tres popular blog.

And hello, *waves*, to all you new eyeballs, it’s a distinct pleasure to share with you.

I’ve been asked to tell you of my experiences in the world of online dating – I promise you none are as scarring nor as entertaining as our dear host’s, but they are mine and thus somewhat amusing. I was honestly crossing my fingers and toes that this wouldn’t be the requested topic, but it was and I’ll do my level best to shrug off the fear feels.

I only really utilize one dating site and avail myself of the pickings on an occasional basis – mostly because I’m less good at the dating thing than most. Here’s the low down, most of my life has been dating free, there was a time in my late teens and early twenties when having someone to squire around and to be squired by was not so far fetched . . . and then I figured some stuff out. Namely I had enough of kidding myself and pretending was getting pretty ridic so I gave up the fake-out tactic of dating nice but bland people and moved onto evasive answers and years of platonic dates – I’m a GD master at them at this point. But back to the online dating, about a year or so ago I signed up after hearing a mix of reviews of different sites and promptly got my first message . . . from a person identifying as asexual. While I’m not harshing that person, it was a bit of a head scratcher as to why my foray into online courting would start in such a manner. I’ve since spent time at cafes with some people that I knew right away weren’t going to make it to a second coffee, and thankfully that feeling was mutual. There have been one or two folks who lasted longer than a coffee for me and a tea for she. Fun was had over dinner. Multiple messages were exchanged but somehow the intense need to solidify things hasn’t materialized, maybe it’s because of all those Michigan suitors that keep messaging me – even with my setting specifying a closer radius than Michigan would include. But more than likely I’m not ready for anything that would require more than the good times. Getting into serious relationships can take a toll because a “problem shared is a problem halved,” and I’m working on my own problems so this online dating thing allows a certain level of control I like. I’m not ruling out the weak-in-the-knees, heart palpitations, fretting over a pile of possible date outfits kind of attraction nor the desire to meet my bashert, to borrow a Yiddish word – look it up, but for now I’m not pushing that agenda too hard. I’m open and more than secretly hoping for that person to come by with a glorious meal, a wit and snark not to be outdone, and a good heart.

I bid you all safe travels, be they dating or otherwise. Thanks for this decidely one sided-chat, and maybe we’ll cross paths on the interwebz or irl.